Untangling Stressful Habits – Comparison
If you have been in my world for a while, you will know that I am passionate about habits and untangling stressful habits to live a fulfilling and whole-hearted life as a well-being. So I am writing a series to shed some light on some stressful habits that have come back in to my awareness recently.
Before I start sharing about stressful habits, let’s have a look at what I mean by stressful habits.
What Are Stressful Habits?
Basically – habits can be useful or not so useful, helpful or not so helpful, stress inducing or not. Sometimes we are conscious of our habit/s (i.e. often chosen and intentional) or the habit/s can sit within our blind spots or the unknown.
When I refer to stressful habits, I am referring to habits that are impacting our overall life, business or well-being. They could be adding extra stress, suffering or draining life force energy in our lives. The stressful habits could be showing up in one or a variety of areas within our lives (i.e. physical, emotional, mental, financial, environmental or social).
In order to start to untangle from stressful habits, we need to develop self-awareness, so we can be more responsible and take ownership of our own life. Today I wanted to introduce making assumptions.
Unhelpful Habit: Comparison
Often we think about comparison in relation to people, however comparison also exists between things. Let’s have a look at some of the definitions on comparison –
- “the act of comparing two or more people or things” ~ Cambridge Dictionary,
- “the representing of one thing or person as similar to or like another” ~ Merriam-Webster Dictionary,
- “a likening; illustration by similitude; comparative estimate or statement.” ~ Dictionary.com, and
- “…is the act of evaluating two or more things by determining the relevant, comparable characteristics of each thing, and then determining which characteristics of each are similar to the other, which are different, and to what degree.” ~ Wikipedia.
How do you see comparison? Feel free to share below.
Where Does Comparison Show Up? –
Comparison can show up in a variety of areas of our life. Sometimes comparison can be useful, when we are deciding between outfits, however when we compare ourselves to other people, this can be challenging.
What have you noticed to your energy when you compare your self to other people? For me, I feel quite drained. It can also lead to animosity, jealousy, competition and resentment. Underneath comparison is quite often a belief or sense we are not enough as we are, which is created by the ego, inner protector or monkey mind.
In his book, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose, Eckhart Tolle talks about the ego and the roles it plays. He says –
“Why does the ego play roles? Because of one unexamined assumption, one fundamental error, one unconscious thought. That thought is I am not enough. Other unconscious thoughts follow: I need to play a role in order to get what I need to be fully myself; I need to get more so I can be more. But you cannot be more than you are because underneath your physical and psychological form, you are one with Life itself, one with Being. In form, you are and will always be inferior to some, superior to others. In essence, you are neither inferior nor superior to anyone. True self-esteem and true humility arise out of that realisation. In the eyes of the ego, self-esteem and humility are contradictory. In truth, they are one and the same.”
Over to You…
Now you have this awareness, what is your next step? Do you sense it could be useful from untangling from comparison? Feel free to share any insights on comparison or a reflection below.
If you are ready to take yourself on the adventure of getting to know yourself (your true Self), why not join the Toolkit? A place where I share tools, inspiration and ideas to live a courageous and openhearted life.
Reference –
Tolle, E. (2008). A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. USA: Penguin.