Untangling Stressful Habits – Fear of Failure

If you have been in my world for a while, you will know that I am passionate about habits and untangling unhelpful habits to live a fulfilling and whole-hearted life as a well-being. So I am writing a series to shed some light on some stressful habits that have come back in to my awareness recently.

Before I start sharing about stressful habits, let’s have a look at what stressful habits are.

What Are Stressful Habits?

Basically – habits can be useful or not so useful, helpful or not so helpful, stress inducing or not. Sometimes we are conscious of our habit/s (i.e. often chosen and intentional) or the habit/s can sit within our blind spots or the unknown.

When I refer to stressful habits, I am referring to habits that are impacting our overall life, business or well-being. They could be adding extra stress, suffering or draining life force energy in our lives. The stressful habits could be showing up in one or a variety of areas within our lives (i.e. physical, emotional, mental, financial, environmental or social).

In order to start to untangle from stressful habits, we need to develop self-awareness, so we can be more responsible and take ownership of our own life. Today I wanted to introduce fear of failure.

Stressful Habit: Fear of Failure

In this stressful habit, I am going to divide up the words and will start with fear. Maybe you have heard –

• “A very unpleasant or disturbing feeling caused by the presence or imminence of danger.” – The Free Dictionary,
• FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real,
• FEAR – Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise,
• “…an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.” – Google,
• “…an emotion induced by a threat perceived by living entities, which causes a change in brain and organ function and ultimately a change in behavior, such as running away, hiding or freezing from traumatic events.” – Wikipedia,
• “to be afraid of (something or someone)” or “to expect or worry about (something bad or unpleasant)” – Merriam-Webster Dictionary, and
• “An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.” – Oxford Dictionaries.

And Failure…

Some definitions of failure –

• “the fact of someone or something not succeeding” ~ Cambridge Dictionary,
• “an act or instance of failing, fail or proving unsuccessful; lack of success” ~ Dictionary.com
• “Failure is a lack of success in doing or achieving something, especially in relation to a particular activity” ~ Collins Dictionary

So if we combine fear and failure, maybe it is fear of trying as you are not going to have success. How would you define fear of failure? Feel free to share below.

Where Does Fear of Failure Show Up?

Fear of failure can show up in many places within our lives. For example fear of failure can show up –

• within ourselves – for examples around our capabilities or something about ourselves – fear of trying something new as we think we are going to fail or fear of playing a new sport or starting a sport again, and
• in our relationships – maybe we think it can be easier to not ask someone out as we are going to fail anyway.

Don’t worry, I imagine most of us have experienced a fear of failure in our lives until we develop self-awareness, so BE self-compassionate 🙂

Over to You…

Now you have this awareness, what is your next step? Feel free to share any insights on fear of failure or a reflection below. Sometimes change can take a while, so be patient and of course self-compassionate. Also – remember when fear of failure is consciously understood it supports our adventure of wholeness and heartful living.

If you are ready to take yourself on the adventure of getting to know yourself (your true Self), why not join the Toolkit? A place where I share tools, inspiration and ideas to live a courageous and openhearted life.