Untangling Stressful Habits – Making Assumptions

If you have been in my world for a while, you will know that I am passionate about habits and untangling stressful habits to live a fulfilling and whole-hearted life as a well-being. So I am writing a series to shed some light on some stressful habits that have come back in to my awareness recently.

Before I start sharing about stressful habits, let’s have a look at what I mean by stressful habits.

What Are Stressful Habits?

Basically – habits can be useful or not so useful, helpful or not so helpful, stress inducing or not. Sometimes we are conscious of our habit/s (i.e. often chosen and intentional) or the habit/s can sit within our blind spots or the unknown.

When I refer to stressful habits, I am referring to habits that are impacting our overall life, business or well-being. They could be adding extra stress, suffering or draining life force energy in our lives. The stressful habits could be showing up in one or a variety of areas within our lives (i.e. physical, emotional, mental, financial, environmental or social).

In order to start to untangle from stressful habits, we need to develop self-awareness, so we can be more responsible and take ownership of our own life. Today I wanted to introduce making assumptions.

Unhelpful Habit: Making Assumptions

Yes I know some habits are challenging to break and maybe this is one of those…

Growing up and being in the public eye, I had many assumptions made about me. Maybe that is one of the reasons why I am so inquisitive now, question so much and am learning to master this stressful habit with a genuine sense of curiosity. In his book the Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz writes… –

“We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We could swear they are real. We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking – we take it personally – then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word. That is why whenever we make assumptions, we’re asking for problems. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole drama for nothing.”

Then you start to realise, you need to trust yourself and not take things personally.

Where Does Making Assumptions Show Up? –

We can make assumptions in so many areas of our lives. We can make assumptions about people and also ourselves and our own abilities. In life, we can notice different things about people (i.e. what they are saying, wearing and their actions) as well as ourselves (i.e. noticing when we saying something or not in a conversation), however that is different than making an assumption.

When we make an assumption about someone, that assumption may or may not be accurate. Yes it may be useful If the assumption is accurate, however those assumptions are also often inaccurate and then that has an impact on how we view people and add stress to our lives. This can lead to a number of consequences including – misunderstanding, miscommunication, trust issues, poor decision-making, missed opportunities, stereotyping, project failures amongst other stressful things.

Over to You…

Now you have this awareness, what is your next step? Do you sense it could be useful from untangling from making assumptions? Feel free to share any insights on making assumptions or a reflection below.

If you are ready to take yourself on the adventure of getting to know yourself (your true Self), why not join the Toolkit? A place where I share tools, inspiration and ideas to live a courageous and openhearted life.

Reference –

Ruiz, D. (1997). The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. California, USA: Amber-Allen Publishing Inc.