It’s Not About the Nail – Reality or Perception of Reality?

In life, most of us assume that what we see, hear, taste, touch, and smell is reality. But is it really? Or is it our perception of reality?

The truth is, our perceptions often differ from what’s actually happening.

Whenever we encounter a situation, our mind immediately starts making appraisals. Most of the time this happens outside our awareness, almost on autopilot – like living in our own version of Groundhog Day. These appraisals are shaped by past experiences, memories, beliefs, thought patterns, and even our current mood.

And here’s the kicker: those appraisals then colour how we interpret the present moment. At the most basic level, our minds label experiences as pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral.

Mindfulness and Perception

This is where mindfulness comes in.

Mindfulness practice helps us notice that first level of appraisal. Instead of reacting automatically—chasing after what we like and avoiding what we dislike – we can pause, recognise what’s happening, and choose a response that’s aligned with our deeper values.

Over the years, I’ve found myself identifying with both characters in the popular clip, It’s Not About the Nail. At times, I’ve been the guy – trying too hard to fix things. Other times, I’ve been the girl – unable to see clearly or trust myself.

The gift of self-awareness is recognising both sides.

The Adventure of Self-Awareness

Self-awareness isn’t a quick fix (sorry, there’s no three-step formula here). It’s an ongoing process of practice, reflection, and unravelling the stories we’ve told ourselves about who we are.

Little by little, I’ve discovered that clarity comes from creating awareness around a situation, seeing it as it really is, and accepting it unconditionally – without judgment or shame.

Of course, awareness isn’t passive. It also means taking responsibility for my part in any situation, and being honest about my feelings, emotions, and the stories I carry.

William Blake once wrote:

“If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.”

Beautiful, right? And true.

Easier Said Than Done

Yes, I know – this is often easier said than done. That’s why it’s so important to be gentle with yourself in the process. Self-awareness is not about getting it “right.” It’s about cultivating honesty, compassion, and courage along the way.

Over to You…

If you are ready to take yourself on the journey of getting to know yourself (your true Self), why not join the Toolkit? A place where I share tools, inspiration and ideas to live a courageous and openhearted life.