The Dance of Life: Process vs. Outcome (or Both?)

Is life more about the process, the outcome, or both? Does it depend on where we are in our own adventure of life?

If you’d asked me this when I was younger, I would have said it was all about the outcome. Why? Because I grew up in an environment that valued achievement above everything. As a professional tennis player, I heard many times: “You’re only as good as your last match.” I believed it, pushed myself to the limit, and ignored my body. Since results determined our income, I rarely listened to what my body was telling me – and I paid the price through injuries and illness.

Looking back over the past few weeks of reflection, I can see how this carried into my next profession – education. Again, I was determined, hardworking, and continually striving to be better. After teaching in schools, I moved into a project role because I wanted to “save the world” and make a real difference. For 7 ½ years, I traveled the country presenting workshops on mental health and wellbeing. But eventually, I knew it was time to stop.

Facing the Emptiness Within

I resigned on December 31, 2011. One reason was the emptiness I felt inside. It wasn’t about the outside world – I was working in a field many would call altruistic – but I knew deep down that this void couldn’t be filled externally. I had tried that before, and it hadn’t worked. Instead, I realised I needed to go within, to connect deeply with my soul, and face my darkest fears. And that’s where the process comes in – and oh, what a process it is!

During the Easter weekend, I confronted many fears and uncovered a belief that had been sitting in my subconscious since I was three years old: “I can’t be myself.” This discovery shook me to my core. My whole world crumbled. Everything I thought I was seemed to vanish. And yet, in the middle of that collapse, I felt freer than ever.

Now, I’m learning to live more in the moment and let life flow through me. I don’t know what’s going to happen next – and yes, that’s scary – especially as a single woman with a mortgage. But I’m learning to trust the process more each day. I’m also fortunate to have amazing people around me who support me, though ultimately, this is an adventure we each must walk ourselves.

Over to You…

So, is life more bout the process, the outcome, or is it about the dance of life: process and outcome? For me, it used to be all about the outcome. Now, it’s about the process – though I still hold a vision and mission (which maybe is linked to the outcome?). Maybe that’s why I’ve had to go through everything up to now: to realise that life is both a process and an outcome. I’m not entirely sure.

What are your thoughts? Please share them with me below!

Thanks for reading,
Jane xx