3 Ways We Can Betray Ourselves
You know that moment, when you see clearly? As if something within you has shone so deeply that there is no more hiding? For me, I had one of those experiences yesterday when I was having a conversation with a friend. After the conversation, the following quote came across my path and again it resonated so deeply with me.
“The most common form of despair is not being who you are.”
~ Søren Kierkegaard
Subsequently, today I wanted to share with you some of my thoughts on self-betrayal, including 3 ways we can betray ourselves. Let’s get started…
What is Self-Betrayal?
So we are on the same page about self-betrayal, here is the definition I found when researching self-betrayal –
- “the intentional or inadvertent revelation of the truth about one’s actions or thoughts” ~ Google and Encyclopedia.com
And these are the couple I found on betrayal –
- “to be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling” ~ Dictionary.com
- “the action of betraying one’s country, a group, or a person; treachery.” ~ Google
As I was writing those definitions, I thought self-betrayal also linked to self-deception.
What is Self-Deception?
A number of definitions on self-deception exist, including –
- “the action or practice of allowing oneself to believe that a false or unvalidated feeling, idea, or situation is true.” ~ Google
- “Self-deception involves allowing yourself to believe something about yourself that is not true, because the truth is more unpleasant.” ~ Collins Dictionary
- “the act of hiding the truth from yourself” ~ Cambridge Dictionary
- “the act or fact of deceiving oneself.” ~ Dictionary.com
Do you agree there are some links between self-betrayal and self-deception?
3 Ways We Can Betray Ourselves
Over the years, I have discovered many ways I have betrayed my self, including –
- Saying ‘yes’ to something, when I would have preferred to say ‘no’,
- Getting a good idea, however not following through on it, and
- Being super judgemental on ourselves.
1. Saying ‘Yes’
Have you ever said ‘yes’ to something, when you would have preferred to say ‘no’. Don’t worry, you are not alone. Yes, I know saying ‘no’ can be changing, however what I have realised is that I needed to learn to say ‘no’ to some opportunities as they were taking away from the time and energy I could invest following my own dreams. As Paulo Coelho so eloquently said,
“When you say ‘Yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself!”
2. Getting a Good Idea
Ever had a good idea or a dream and not follow through on it? Yep – I have been there as well 🙂 However, I have learnt to honour those ideas and now have a process in place to honour them. This process helps me to decide if I want to follow through on them or not. Oprah said it this way –
“There is nothing worse than betraying yourself.”
3. Being Super Judgmental
Now if you have been around here for a while, you might know I spent many years untangling my own judgement. This became very draining for me personally and I needed to learn another way. Fortunately, I did and continue to practise being kind to myself. Diane Von Furstenberg said it like this –
“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”
There are also other ways we can betray ourselves, including –
- Purchasing items that you know you cannot afford,
- Looking for people to ‘complete you’,
- Comparing ourselves to other people,
- Being friends with people who hurt you, and
- Not being present in the moment.
Why Does Self-Betrayal Matter?
For me, self-betrayal matters because you matter. Yes, truly! Your feelings, your dreams, your health, your voice. your relationships. they all matter as they are part of you 🙂
Over to You…
I hope this has given you some insight in to the ways we can betray ourselves. Remember – life is an adventure and we are here to grown and evolve. So be kind to yourself 🙂
If you are ready to reclaim your courage and take the next step towards freedom and opening your heart, why not join our Toolkit?