Wherever You Go, There You Are!

There’s a simple yet profound wisdom that Jon Kabat-Zinn captures in his book Wherever You Go, There You Are. The wisdom is that no matter where you are, you are there and it is your life that is unfolding, moment by moment.

It sounds obvious, yet many of us live as though we can escape our challenges or problems by changing scenery, relationships, jobs, or other parts of our lives. For example, we might say – “If I move to that new city, then I will finally be happy,” or “If I find the right partner, then everything will fall into place” or maybe “If I just receive that job promotion or lose the weight, then I will feel worthy.”

Occasionally, these changes can bring some relief. However, over time what I have found for myself is that patterns, draining habits, and inner challenges often resurface. As another well known saying goes, what we resist, persists – or we cannot outrun ourselves.

We Cannot Outrun Ourselves

Life is continually moving – both inside and out. On the outside, we could be moving towards a goal, driving in the car or taking steps to complete a certificate or course. And on the inside we have beliefs, thoughts, perceptions, feelings and emotions, which shape our experiences of life and travel with us wherever we go (along with the breath of course).

One of the people who helped me start my own adventure of going within was Wayne Dyer. I remember hearing him say this many years ago –

“When you squeeze an orange, you’ll always get orange juice to come out. What comes out is what’s inside. The same logic applies to you: when someone squeezes you, puts pressure on you, or says something unflattering or critical, and out of you comes anger, hatred, bitterness, tension, depression, or anxiety, that is what’s inside. If love and joy are what you want to give and receive, change your life by changing what’s inside.”

Responsibility and Accountability Are Important Within Life

This is why responsibility and accountability matter so deeply. Not as punishment, but as empowerment. When we stop waiting for someone to save us – our partner, our boss, our parents, our friends – we can begin to remember and understand that our life and purpose is our own and our responsibility.

Responsibility is realising there is a gap between stimulus and response. Within that gap, we have the choice to respond consciously instead of react from autopilot or what may have worked in the past. It is remembering that no one else can give us peace of mind. No one else can force us to heal. No one else can rewrite our story. That work belongs to us.

As Rollo May wrote in his book The Courage to Create – 

“Human freedom involves our capacity to pause between the stimulus and response and, in that pause, to choose the one response toward which we wish to throw our weight. The capacity to create ourselves, based upon this freedom, is inseparable from consciousness or self-awareness. (p. 100)”

Accountability is not about blame – it is about holding ourselves accountable for our results (the “good” and the “not so good” or “the wanted” and “not so wanted”). When we acknowledge that our choices, actions, and perspectives shape our reality, we can step out of victimhood and into agency.

The Courage to Stay

Mindfulness, reflection exercises and talking to trusted colleagues can support us to discover and find the courage to stay. To be here in the present, to stop running from discomfort, and meet ourselves where we are. This is a big part of the gift that Jon Kabat-Zinn shares in his book – freedom comes not from escape, but from presence.

Instead of trying to outrun our pain and discomfort, we learn to sit and be with them. Instead of demanding that life changes to make us happy, we can meet life in this moment (with consciousness and loving presence).

Yes, it takes courage to stop running. It takes humility to take responsibility. But it is in that stillness with compassion and choosing ownership, accountability and responsibility, we can find the possibility of real transformation.

Because wherever you go, there you are.

Over to You…

I hope this post has given supported you in your own awareness. If you have any questions or comments, please write them below.

If you are ready to reclaim your courage and take the next step towards freedom and opening your heart, why not join the newsletter? 

Reference –

May, R. (1975). The Courage to Create. New York, NY: Norton.