Three Steps to Start Developing Your Emotional Intelligence
Are you ready to start developing your emotional intelligence? Great, you are in the right place!
In this post, I will share with you briefly what emotional intelligence is and three steps to start developing your emotional intelligence.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Originally John Mayer and Peter Salovey (1997) defined emotional intelligence as involving the abilities to –
- monitor one’s own and other’s feelings,
- discriminate among them, and
- use this information to guide’s one thinking and action.
However, since 1997, Mayer and Salovey have redefined emotional intelligence as –
- the ability to perceive emotions,
- to access and generate emotions to assist thought,
- to understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and
- to reflectively regulate emotions to promote emotional and intellectual growth (Mayer & Salovey, 1997).
Then in 2016, Mayer et al, further refined their definition as the four-branch model of emotional intelligence, with the four branches being –
- perceiving emotion,
- facilitating thought using emotion,
- underfunding emotions, and
- managing emotions.
Developing Emotional Intelligence
Now we are on the same page about emotional intelligence, let’s look at a 3-part process to start developing emotional intelligence. Six Seconds developed this three-part model in 1997, as a process to provide a practical and simple way to learn and practice emotional intelligence, A bit like an action plan for using emotional intelligence in daily life.
This model of EQ-in-Action begins with three important pursuits: to become more aware (noticing what you do), being more intentional (doing what you mean), and being more purposeful (doing it for a reason). Basically –
- Know Yourself (K) – gives you the “what”. When you Know Yourself, you know your strengths and challenges, you know what you are doing, what you want, and what to change.
- Choose Yourself (C) – provides the “how”. It shows you how to take action, how to influence yourself and others, how to “operationalise” these concepts.
- Give Yourself (G) – delivers the “why”. When you Give Yourself, you are clear and full of energy so you stay focused why to respond a certain way, why to move in a new direction, and why others should come on board.
The basic model, “KCG” or “Know, Choose, Give” is simple and easy to begin putting Emotional Intelligence in to action. You can see the model is a CIRCLE and that is deliberate as it is a process (not a list). The process works when you spin it, like a propeller moving a ship. As you move through the “Know, Choose, Give” you gain positive momentum!
Three Steps to Start Developing Your Emotional Intelligence
Following is a short clip from Joshua Freedman one of the creators of Six Seconds. In the clip, Joshua elaborates on the above model.
Over to You…
Now you have read the 3 steps to start developing your emotional intelligence, what empowering choices are you going to make? Remember, it’s up to you as you are the Sovereign of your own life. If you would like to know more about the Emotional Intelligence Assessments, please click here (as I am a Certified 6 Seconds EQ Assessor).
If you are ready to reclaim your courage and take the next step towards freedom and opening your heart, why not join our Toolkit?
References –
Mayer, J. D., & Salovey, P. (1997). What is emotional intelligence? In D. J. Sluyter (Ed.), Emotional development and emotional intelligence: Educational implications (pp. 3–34). New York, NY: Basic Books.
Mayer, J. D., Caruso, D. R., & Salovey, P. (2016). The ability model of emotional intelligence: Principles and updates. Emotion Review, 8, 1-11.