Untangling Stressful Habits – Taking Things Personally
If you have been in my world for a while, you will know that I am passionate about habits and untangling unhelpful habits to live a fulfilling and whole-hearted life as a well-being. So I am writing a series to shed some light on some stressful habits that have come back in to my awareness recently.
Before I start sharing about stressful habits, let’s have a look at what stressful habits are.
What Are Stressful Habits?
Basically – habits can be useful or not so useful, helpful or not so helpful, stress inducing or not. Sometimes we are conscious of our habit/s (i.e. often chosen and intentional) or the habit/s can sit within our blind spots or the unknown.
When I refer to stressful habits, I am referring to habits that are impacting our overall life, business or well-being. They could be adding extra stress, suffering or draining life force energy in our lives. The stressful habits could be showing up in one or a variety of areas within our lives (i.e. physical, emotional, mental, financial, environmental or social).
In order to start to untangle from stressful habits, we need to develop self-awareness, so we can be more responsible and take ownership of our own life. Today I wanted to introduce taking things personally.
Stressful Habit: Taking Things Personally
Don Miguel Ruiz first taught me about this draining habit. In the book the Four Agreements he writes… –
“Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.
Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds…Taking things personally makes you easy prey for these predators, the black magicians. They can hook you easily with one little opinion and feed you whatever poison they want, and because you take it personally, you eat it up….”
Then you start to realise, you need to trust yourself and not take things personally. How would you define taking things personally? Feel free to share below.
Where Does Taking Things Personally Show Up?
Taking things personally can show up in many places within our lives. Not convinced? I wonder what would happen if we went through the day and noticed when we take things personally – from conversations with friends and family to work and sport. Don’t worry the majority of us take things personally until we develop greater self-awareness, so BE self-compassionate 🙂
Once we have this awareness about when we take things personally, we can then decide on what our next step is going to be – are you going to make a commitment to start to untangle from taking things personally or not? And as Don Miguel Ruiz writes –
“As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you won’t need to place your trust in what others do or say. You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you. When you truly understand this, and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others…”
Over to You…
Now you have this awareness, what is your next step? Feel free to share any insights on taking thing personally or a reflection below. Sometimes change can take a while, so be patient and of course self-compassionate. Also – remember when taking thing personally is consciously understood it supports our adventure of wholeness and heartful living.
If you are ready to take yourself on the adventure of getting to know yourself (your true Self), why not join the Toolkit? A place where I share tools, inspiration and ideas to live a courageous and openhearted life.
Reference –
Ruiz, D. (1997). The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. California, USA: Amber-Allen Publishing Inc.