Focusing on What We Can Control

JT -Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't

“Ain’t no sense worryin’ about the things you got control over, ’cause if you got control over ’em, ain’t no sense worryin’. And ain’t no sense worryin’ about the things you don’t got control over, ’cause if you don’t got control over ’em, ain’t no sense worryin’.” 

~ Mickey Rivers

Focusing on what we have control of in our life can help us identify where we could be living on autopilot or investing time in places that are not very effective.

I am really enjoy investing time to reflect in this way. It gives me clarity on how many things I have been focusing on that are not in my control. For me, I have been exercising the habit of self-compassion during this process as it could have been quite easy to start beating myself up as some of my insights seem so clear now, however I wasn’t seeing them before I took time out to reflect.

Quotes to Inspire You to Focus on What You Can Control

A few quotes that have resonated with me on this topic of things outside of my control include –

  • “Why worry about things you can’t control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you?” ~ Unknown
  • “Stop letting people who do so little for you, control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.” ~ Unknown
  • “Focus on what you can control, and don’t waste energy on the things that you cannot.” ~ Unknown
  • “Don’t let your happiness be controlled by something you cannot control.” ~ Unknown
  • “I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours and God’s. Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our business. When I think, “You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on time, you need to take better care of yourself,” I am in your business. When I’m worried about earthquakes, floods, war, or when I will die, I am in God’s business. If I am mentally in your business or in God’s business, the effect is separation.” ~ Byron Katie

So, What are the Things I Have Found I Can Control?

To start with I will focus on some areas I can control with some explanations. I can control –

1. Where My Focus is from Moment to Moment –

“I can choose to feel good”, “I can choose love over fear” or any other choice. Every moment gives us the chance to start afresh and there is a choice!

2. My Response to Situations –

“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” ~ Mahatma Ghandi. If I am reacting to situations, I need to inquire and investigate what I am thinking about the situation. Sometimes I also ask – what do I need to learn or remember here? “You can never control or change how others think, feel or act. You can only change how you think, feel and act and lead by example.” ~ Celestine Chua

3. My Forgiveness Levels –

I know life can be challenging sometimes, especially when things have happened that were deeply harmful and/or hurtful. You may be convinced that your anger will protect you and keep you strong. However, I have learnt that holding anger and resentment can weaken you and also keep us stuck in the past. In many ways, forgiveness is for ourselves more so that other people and as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. indicated “Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” Mahatma Ghandi also said “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

4. Where I Spend or Invest My Time –

I do have a choice where I spend and invest my time. Are these activities and situations nourishing your energy or draining it? Only you will know the answer to this!

5. How much Practice I do within My Life –

I know I need to keep reminding myself of different aspects of life and the things I learn. I need to keep practising as well to master my own life. These quotes sum practise up – “An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.” ~ Mahatma Ghandi and Lao Tzu “To know and to not yet do, is to not yet know.”

6. How I Show Up In the World –

Each day I spend some time reflecting as I know “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi.

Some other areas I can control include –

  • What food I put in to my mouth,
  • How much movement I do,
  • Who, when and where I ask for help,
  • How many compliments I give out per day,
  • How many times I laugh, cry or express my feelings (in an ecological way of course),
  • My level of honesty and truth I speak,
  • How clean or cluttered my environment is, and
  • Whether I choose to share feedback or not.

Over to You…

What else can you control that I have missed off the list. Feel free to share below. I hope this has helped you identify what you can control and what you cannot as you learn how to master your life.

If you are ready to reclaim your courage and take the next step towards freedom and opening your heartwhy not join our Toolkit?

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